5 Benefits to Streaming Funeral Services That Families Should Know

By Jane K. Callaghan, Author of The Death Doulas Guide to a Meaningful End. 

When COVID-19 hit the world’s population, people and systems found ways to keep things going–many professions switched to remote work, doctors’ offices established drive-through vaccine clinics, and funeral homes offered streaming services when the population couldn’t travel and attend gatherings safely.

I remember, in late 2020, watching my uncle’s funeral from my phone. He had died of COVID, and as an asthmatic, it was too dangerous for me to get on a plane and be in a closed room with a bunch of people. I was grateful I could be part of that moment, even if it was, strangely, from my phone.

As a death doula, it’s my job to help people understand their options during their end-of-life journey and beyond. And when I discovered OneRoom, it got me thinking: Remote work has become ubiquitous. Drive-through vaccine clinics still exist for efficiency. But what happened to streaming funerals?

Thanks to OneRoom, they still exist, but it’s not always the first thing grieving families think of. Some are unaware of this option altogether, and may flinch at the suggestion. Of course they prefer an in-person presence, but that’s not possible for everyone, whether it’s because of rising ticket prices, travel distance, or a physical disability.

Don’t let an initial hesitation be a reason not to explain the benefits of streaming. Here are five things families should know before making a decision about streaming funeral services:

It’s common in some cultures. During the Victorian era in the Western world, it was a common practice to take photos of and with the deceased (called “post-mortem photography”). It was viewed as an honor to snap a final photo, and for some families, was the only time they’d have a photo taken. These photos were made into keepsakes such as lockets. The practice went away when popular culture deemed death as “morbid” instead of a fact of life. In India, it is not strange to take photos and videos of a body being cremated in a ghat as a memento for the family. It is a normal practice to record video and take photos at wakes and funerals in Latin America, China, Ghana, and the Pacific Islands. Like a birth or a wedding, this is seen simply as documenting a momentous experience amongst the community. Some people may hesitate only because they have been taught to associate death with fear and even shame rather than view these services as a sacred moment that can and should be cherished forever.

It’s a way to fully experience an important event. When it comes to big events that bring even bigger emotions, it is easy to forget the bulk of what happened. I remember about five minutes of my wedding (we didn’t budget for the videographer) and I only have some siloed seconds of memory from my college graduation. My mother’s funeral is a blur, and I can only replay the few short memories I have of it over and over. If I had thought to record her funeral, I would have–it would give me a more accurate and whole depiction of what that day was like than however my brain has decided to remember it. Mourners are not in the place to think of these things, so suggesting them is helpful. Knowing that they will have the option to go back and view the service as often as they want means they can focus on getting through the day without trying to commit it all to memory.

It’s a valuable grief therapy tool. Whether the passing was expected or not, a death usually leaves survivors with jumbled thoughts and fractured timelines of how everything happened. Being able to walk through what actually happened–the good and the bad–is useful for what is known as grief reprocessing. Grief reprocessing allows surviving loved ones to create a linear progression of events. They can constructively engage with their emotions after the event, not only in the midst of it. This process also supports the grieving process, which includes accepting the reality of the loss. Viewing a video of the funeral is no different than the act of visiting a grave–it is a ritual that allows us to stay connected to the person we are mourning, and that is a key aspect of dealing with grief.

It’s an essential part of a legacy project. The majority of generations alive today are “digital natives,” meaning they’ve grown up using computers and other digital tools–and legacy projects are no exception. Gone are the days of mass cards, and in are the days of creating an online presence to keep someone’s legacy alive. That includes building a family tree on an ancestry mapping site or publishing a personal web page with information about a deceased loved one, including photos and videos. OneRoom automatically creates highlights from funeral recordings, and these short snippets make a great addition to digital legacy projects. Whether it’s a relative’s funny story about a deceased loved one at the lectern or a heartfelt poem read aloud through tears, these are moments that should be an integral part of someone’s lasting legacy preserved digitally.

It’s lovingly inclusive. The desire to attend a funeral but the inability to do so is a reality for many people. This is especially the case for an older decedent whose elderly friends from different chapters of life may not be able to travel. By integrating streaming services, families can know that friends and loved ones anywhere in the world are there with them–even if it’s not in person. Those who can’t make it in real-time can view the recording afterward, meaning they won’t feel shut out or guilty that they couldn’t attend.

Learn more about OneRoom’s features or read about how funeral directors have helped families get more out of OneRoom.

Jane K. Callahan is an end-of-life doula, board member of the Funeral Consumers Alliance North Carolina, graduate student in clinical mental health counseling, and author of A Death Doula’s Guide to a Meaningful End.